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         To Live as if I am Going to Live

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Once again I have fallen
          fallen in love with my life
For a time I had been
            So Serious.
  Told I was going to die
         I went deep inside
               made Friends with the notion
               cultivated my Inner Peace garden
               invited Acceptance in for tea
                    even placed myself
                    in a tidy little white box
                    wrapped in paper
                    with ribbons and bow
       then patiently waited
                 waited to be opened
                           opened by Death

Time passes
       and I wonder
            "Mistake?" I ask
            "Spontaneous healing?" I hope
            "Run more tests!" Doctors say
            "No mistake," Tests insist

Time slips by
       I begin to wriggle restlessly.
            "Did Death drop me
              behind the sofa?" I muse
            "Was I discovered to have
               insufficient postage?" I wonder

"Humph!" I say.
              Enough of this foolish waiting.
     Time to bust out
              out of this tidy white box
           to live as if
               I am going to

I Dance on tips of toes
    all the way around the equator
      in 12 beats of the shaman's drum
I Hop once
    landing squarely on the North Pole
one hand Pointing toward heaven
         the other toward earth
     Spinning 33 times
        until I am launched in a single Flying Leap
              then landing in a Belly Flop, Skim across
                   the icy tip of
                       Tierra del Fuego

I am free
    free to Dance delicately
      on our wonderful, wounded world
                        to Laugh exuberantly
           when caught in a rainpour
free to Sing & Shout & Scream & Silent aloud
       to Float fearless across
the blazing, blinding, brilliant noon sky

                 No more!
                          no more of this waiting
                  this waiting for Death
  no more waiting all perfectly wrapped
                              in a tidy white box

           I am going to live
                                                 as if
as if I am going
                                  to live



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